Sunday, May 29, 2011

conspiracy against pakistan!

Manmohan and Obama are sitting in a bar. A guy walks in and asks the barman, "Isn't that Obama and Manmohan?" .

The barman says "Yes, that's them."

So the guy walks over and says,"Hello, what are u guys doing?"
Obama says, "We're planning world war 3"
Guy says, "Really? What's going to happen?"

Manmohan says, "Well, we're going to kill 14 million Pakistanis and one bicycle repairman."

The guy exclaimed, "A bicycle repairman?!!!

" Manmohan turns to Bush and says, " See, I told you no-one would worry about the 14 million Pakistanis!"

Friday, May 27, 2011

two strangers on a train!

Two strangers, A man and a woman were assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train.
Initially uneasy over sharing a room, they were tired and they slept, He in the upper birth and she in the lower birth.
At 1 AM, the man leans over and gently wakes the women and says "mam I am sorry to bother you, but will you please reach into the second closet to get me a second blanket?, I am awfully cold."
woman replies "I have a better idea, just for tonight let us pretend we are married."
"woow!, that's a fantastic idea." man exclaimed with a huge smile on his face.
She replies "Now get your own damn blanket!"

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Santa buys a radio!

Santa brought a radio from a shopkeeper! 
Next day he goes back to the shop, Angry!!

Santa: U cheated me.
Shopkeeper: No, I sold you a good radio.
Santa: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says this is 'All India Radio! '

Santa as a museum guide!

Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?
Santa(museum guide): An old king's skeleton.
Tourist: Who's that smaller skeleton next to it?
(museum guide): That was same king's skeleton when he was a child.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Airline company's new scheme!

An Airline company launched a scheme where a husband can take his wife for free on a Business trip.

After huge success of the scheme, the airline company sent letters to all wives asking about their experience and feedback!

to which 99% of wives replied "which trip?, when?, what scheme?"

Sunday, May 22, 2011

reality about recruitment!

Boy got rejected and Girl got selected in an interview for the same reason!

They had kept the top button of their shirt!

sender: mayank

Saturday, May 21, 2011

death of superheroes!

In 1975 superman,batman and spiderman were flying across India, and suddenly they died.

In Sholay Gabbar singh had fired 3 bullets in Air!!

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Intelligent santa!

Intelligent Santa changed all of his passwords to "incorrect"
so that when he forgets them,
computer will remind him "your password is incorrect".

Monday, May 16, 2011

letter to mother in law

every girl writes this letter once in her lifetime!

Dear Mother in law,
           Please don't teach me how to handle my children, I am living with one of yours and he definitely needs a lot of improvement!

Sunday, May 15, 2011

santa's house

Santa made a new house painted the top portion of his house,
and in the lower portion wrote "SAME AS ABOVE"

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

what is kiss?

What is kiss?
In Maths= Kis the shortest distance between two lips.
In Physics = It is a process of charging human body.
In Computer = Kiss is local area network in which 2 bodies conneted without any data cable.
In Economics = Kiss is a process in which demand is always higher than supply
by: parth

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Girlfriend cheats Boyfriend

Boyfriend: I cheated..
Girlfriend: so what? do you think i loved you? I was cheating on you for the past 2 years!, you were just for fun...!
Boyfriend cried and said: I was talking about exams.

Monday, May 9, 2011

santa banta on titanic

Titanic was sinking.

Santa: How much the earth is far from here?

Banta: 1 kilo meter.

Santa jumped into the sea and asked again: "...In which direction?"

Banta: Downwards...........................!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

by: parth

Saturday, May 7, 2011

santa travels from Newyork to London

Fifteen minutes into the flight from New york to London, the captain announced, "Ladies and gentlemen, one of our engines has failed.. There is nothing to worry about. Our flight will take an hour longer than scheduled, but we still have three engines left."
Thirty minutes later the captain announced, "One more engine has failed and the flight will take an additional two hours. But don't worry ... we can fly just fine on two engines."
An hour later the captain announced, "One more engine has failed and our arrival will be delayed another three hours.But don't worry ... we still have one engine left."
A santa turned to the Banta who was in the next seat and remarked, "If we lose one more engine, we'll be up here all day!"

Friday, May 6, 2011

at singing compitition

Santa: what is this small medal for?

Banta: because I sang a song!

Santa: and, this big medal for?

Banta: to stop singing!!

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Husband wife story!

Husband was throwing darts on wife's photo.
All darts missed the target!

suddenly he received a call from his wife, she asked "what are you doing?"
He replies "Missing you.!!!"

sender: ashish

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Sardarji's mom's letter!

Dear Banta
Vahe Guru !

I am in a well here and hoping you are in the same well there. I'm writing this letter slowly, because I know you cannot read fast..

We don't live where we did when you left home your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen 20 miles from home, so we moved 20 miles.

I wont be able to send the address as the last Sardar who stayed here took the house numbers with them for their new house so they would not  have to change their address. Hopefully by next week we will be able  to bring our earlier address plate here, so that our address will remain same too. This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine, situated Right above the commode. I'm not sure it works..
Last week I put in 3 shirts, pulled  the chain and haven't seen them since. The weather here isn't too bad. It rained only twice last week. The First time it rained for 3 days and second time for 4 days.

The coat you wanted me to send you, your Aunt said it would be a little too heavy  to send in the mail with all the metal buttons, so we cut them off  and put  them in the pocket.

Your  father has another job. He has 500 men under him. He is cutting the grass  at the cemetery. By  the way I took Bahu to our club's poolside. The manager is  really badmash. He told her that two-piece swimming suit is not allowed in this club. We were confused as to which piece should we remove?
Your  sister had a baby this morning. I haven't found out whether it is A girl  or a boy, so I don't know whether you are an Aunt or Uncle.

Your  uncle, Jetinder fell in a nearby well. Some men tried to pull him out, but  he fought them off bravely and drowned. We cremated him and he burned for  three days.

Your best friend, Balwinder, is no more. He died trying to fulfill  his father's  last wishes. His father had wished to be buried at sea after he died. And your friend died while in the process of digging a grave for his father.
There isn't much more news this time. Nothing much has happened.

P.S: Beta, I was going to send you some money but by the time I realized, I had already sealed off this letter.

Monday, May 2, 2011

government runed by donkey's

American: In my country dogs drive cycles!

Chinese: In my country cats drive Bikes!

Japanese: In my country monkeys fly plane!

Indian: In my country donkey's run the government! 

Sunday, May 1, 2011

punjab to america

Sardar calls Airport and asked "How long is the journey from Punjab to America?"
Receptionist: "1 second sir"
Sardar disconnects saying "she was drunk"!

sender: milan