Saturday, July 7, 2012

How to annoy people

Eat the cream from the cream biscuits, which can be changed by Colgate for extra fun!
Leave the print machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors."
If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
Step purposely on little plastic ketchup packets.
Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up and in working condition"
Reply to everything someone says with "that's what you think."
Practice making fax and modem noises.
Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc" them to your boss.
Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."
Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way because you care for the environment"
Staple pages in the middle of the page.
Honk and wave to strangers.<< my favorite
Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints at the cash register.
TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
dont use any punctuation either
Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
Repeat the following conversation a dozen times.
  "DO YOU HEAR THAT?"
  "What?"
  "Never mind, it's gone now."
As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "No, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
Ask people what gender they are.<< at your own risk
While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
Sing along at the opera.
Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."

try a few of these and do share your experiences in comment :)
keep annoying