Friday, August 31, 2012

unemployment jokes


Wednesday, August 22, 2012

innocent student joke

My teacher pointed me with his ruler and declared that at the end of his ruler is an Idiot.
I was suspended for a month for just asking which end!

Saturday, August 4, 2012

court jokes

Lawyers should never ask grandmas a question if they aren't prepared for the answer!

In a trial, a small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, an elderly grandmother to the stand.

He approached her and asked; "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"

She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young boy, and frankly, you're a big disappointment to me. You lie, cheat on your wife, manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you.."

The lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked,

"Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney (the opponent's lawyer)?"

She again replied, "Why, yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster. He's lazy, bigoted, and has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes I know him."

The defense attorney almost died......


The judge asked both the lawyers to approach the bench and in a quiet voice said: "If either of you maniacs asks her if she knows me, I'll send you to jail for contempt of court !!!